I stand 6' 2" and have an athletic build. I have no problem picking up an adult and tossing them into the air. I've always been strong, and it has always worried me. I have many memories of "not using much strength" and hurting someone inadvertently.
Superman summed it up well;
"I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard, always taking constant care not to break something, to break someone, never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die."It's a demon that has always haunted me. I have always tried to be in constant control. I always visualized it as trying to keep a demon in a box. Problem is the demon is always looking to get out. It presses against the box, finding the smallest crack and lashes out.
Truth is, in bottling it up I made it worse. What happens when you place a sleeve with specific weak points over an explosive? When it explodes the weakpoints collapse first channeling the shockwave. Instead of an occasional "oops" with a normal kid tweak, I would try to push the explosion back through the weak point and then repair the box. I imagine now that the box looks like it was marked fragile and sent through ACME Mailers.
That all changed as I worked toward this rank. I had to learn the real lesson; that control is being able to consciously choose what you do. The difference between the explosion choosing a random weakness and you channeling what you need of it to do what needs to be done.
Even knowing how much I have learned I am
I'm still afraid that I will break some cardboard.