Since it was just us, she had the luxury of being in control - no sister to argue with to be on point, no brother complaining. She directed the entire walk telling me when we needed to turn and where we were going. It was all she'd say - the rest of the walk was quiet and it left my mind wandering.
As you've seen rumblings of here the fall of 2007 sucked for me. Work was hard - the transition to my new role shook up the family, as was expected, but the lack of the direction we expected my career to go in threw us for a loop and left a lot of questions. That stress pushed the right buttons to place some distance between everyone and cause a lot of friction. The resulting eruption wasn't fun - but did reset us back to normal.
While all that was going on I was hitting another wall in my Martial Arts. A new plateau as I take the step from intermediate to 'advanced'. It sounds presumptuous to put it that way, but when I take my next exam I will be one rank from being Black belt. I'm not a beginner, I'm solidly an intermediate - and if you have a good term for not-intermediate and not-expert post it!
Anyway, it was very easy to see what wasn't going right, but it wasn't so easy to figure out what to do to fix it. It felt like every turn ran into one wall or another. Frustrating to say the least, until I was able to break it up and start attacking parts that needed attacking and letting go of those that didn't.
By the time of the walk, this was two months of history, and I was still puzzling over parts of it. Mentally I complained that at the start, of the job, of martial arts, it was all easier. I swear my mind has a hacked version of TiVo and Google running - instantly I heard a scene from Teen Titans where Robin was complaining about the same thing as he made his pilgrimage to find the True Master. She said to him:
Beginnings are often easier; but look at all that you have learned [from your adventures]It got me reviewing all that I had learned over the past two years and made me realize, again, how silly I was being. Doesn't mean things are perfect, just that I've decided to look past some of the imperfections.
Bring it on 2008!